God Laughs
I may not go to church as often as I should and I’m certainly not the best example of a pious woman, but I do wholeheartedly believe God is real. And I am one hundred percent positive he has a sense of humor. A good one.
If you don’t agree, I challenge you to answer me this: If God does not have a sense of humor, why would he not only allow us to create see through doors, but also give us people who would walk into them? Seriously. There is nothing funnier in this world than watching someone bounce off a closed glass or screen door they thought was open. And if their hands are full of spillable items, even better. This happens so often at my sister’s house, my brother in law actually painted a smiley face on their screen door in an effort to protect it from harassment from his minimally observant family. Half of you are giggling uncontrollably, imagining someone’s face, full of shock and surprise as they realize the air has physically assaulted them, scrambling cartoon character style in a vain attempt to preserve their dignity. The other half of you are thinking I’m a horrible person. Whatever. I didn’t want to be friends with you guys anyway.
For real. The world is full of examples if you look around. I, regrettably, did not witness this one firsthand, but was fortunate enough to hear the account from someone who did. A county worker was mowing the roadside with one of those large mowers with a blade extending out from the side. There was a black garbage bag directly in line with his mower’s trajectory. Unwilling to be deterred from his duties and apparently done with everyone’s shit, he mowed right over the bag. His commercial grade equipment spewed the contents far and wide. Normally, this wouldn’t be funny at all. Nothing humorous about littering. Unless the bag was filled with…wait for it…dildos. Yes! This poor bastard had to go home and answer the question ‘How was your day?’ with the statement, “I literally ran over a bag of dicks with the mower today.”
Again, if you aren’t laughing, we can’t be friends.
Finally, have you ever seen anyone walk through a doorway and get an article of clothing stuck on the door handle? Funniest. Shit. Ever. I can’t ever remember laughing as hard at anyone else’s misfortune as the day I glanced down the hallway just in time to see my sister, walking confidently and with purpose into my bedroom, get her belt loop hung up on the door handle. Her momentum came to a screeching halt, catapulting her into the wall. Her arms flailed. A startled “Aaaah!” escaped her mouth. And it’s a damned good thing she wasn’t hurt because her ever so helpful sister was useless, on the floor laughing uncontrollably, gasping for air. FYI, she’s mentally calling me an asshole right now as she reads this. Sorry, Cheriti. I did warn you this story would make it into a blog one day.
Please don’t ruin the fun God and I are having by pointing out the potential injuries and/or psychological damage possible here. We’ve discussed it and agree – life is better when you can see the humor in every situation. Laugh at someone a bit, then laugh at yourself a bit more. Life is too short to be serious all the time.
What’s the funniest accidentally hilarious thing you’ve ever witnessed?
