Why Me? (Insert Eye Roll Emoji)

Current situation in my house – I find my son’s ‘Shark in a Jar’ in the living room.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s a small jar filled with formaldehyde with a preserved shark of some sort in it.  The kind you would see in a souvenir shop.  Now, before I get hate mail from every animal lover on the planet, Nick’s shark was a gift from his older brother.  I am not in the habit of drowning sea creatures in toxic chemicals for my personal enjoyment.

Anyway, I find this thing in the living room, cap securely in place.  No formaldehyde in the jar, just a shark.  “Where is the liquid?”, you may ask.  I have no idea. 

Cue my daughter, Hunter, “Mom.  I stepped in something sticky earlier.  Maybe it was shark juice.”

Me: “It wasn’t shark juice.”

Hunter: “It could have been shark juice.”

Me: “The shark is not decomposing.  It’s preserved.  Did you clean it up?”

Hunter: “Mom, stop changing the subject.”

This is what I live with. 

If you don’t know already, I have three teenagers.  My daughters, Hunter and Haleigh, are 17 and 15, respectively.  My son, Nick, is 14.  Adding to the chaotic humor in my house is my step-son, Dougie, age 28. 

Some of you reading this may know my children.  If you do, you aren’t surprised by the possibility of one of them creating a biohazard in my house.  If you don’t know them, just wait.  More stories will be forthcoming.  Most will be hilarious, some disturbing, all  will be true.